nostalgia

walking

2011-12-15T23:17:00.000-08:00

The babies are almost walking. Almost. During the past two weeks they'd make a step or two and fall, but they understand this concept and really curious about pursuing it. Again, with my parents in town we don't discourage the babies anymore from walking. But the biggest fun of having Russian babies is dressing them in scarves ("babushkas") - and I do have a collection of those!

Baby updates

2011-12-07T12:40:00.000-08:00

Last night, as I went out for a cup of tea and desert, with a friend (no babies, not a family member - just a friend), for the first time since the babies were born, as we were talking about her baby, who is due in about a month, I realized how little my mind remembers about this past year. How much was accomplished by my twins and how little stays in my head nowadays. How little I've been keeping in touch with my friends (how nice that Russians are very proficient in English nowadays, as I didn't notice that's the language I'm using for the post), despite their constant requests on keeping them posted.

I have a baby (C) who repeats long words and even sentences. She's 11 months old, it's very strange and L doesn't believe it's true, but now that my parents are in town they can confirm it. We all basically fall out of our chairs every time she does it. Examples (repeated after one of us spontaneously, she doesn't do it on demand):
"Broccoli" ("bokaheee")
"Хлебушек" ("heboosik")
"Мячик кидай!" ("m'akigai")
"Дедушка обиделся" ("deooshkaahbidesja")
"Грязные салфетки" (g'a-gi-eh - sah-feh)
I cannot recall more and that's why I need to/might start writing things about the babies more often, just to keep track, as I am becoming one of those very proud parents. :)
G is not a talker, she is an explorer and a researcher, we call her Jacques Cousteau. She is also incredibly sweet and cuddly.

P.S. And they both help me with telling stories and pointing to the characters in their books (making animal sounds, etc.)!
Mama: "Жили-были дед да..." (Once upon a time there were a grandpa and...)
G: "баба" ("ba-ba" = grandma)
Mama: "И была у них..." (And they had a...)
C: "ку!" ("Koo!" = koorochka = a chicken)

We had twins...

2011-11-07T19:12:00.001-08:00

DSC_1214, a photo by Veroniquette on Flickr.

... a little over 10 months ago.
We never got to blog about it for many reasons. But this is why I never update this page anymore.

2011-11-07T19:05:00.001-08:00

Проба пера.
Могу ли по-русски?

Matryoshka dress

2010-06-19T14:14:00.001-07:00

I made this little dress for our friends' daughter - as a present for her 1st Birthday. I haven't sewn for many years and definitely missed it. So, now that I bought a sewing machine and lots of fabrics... - all I need is courage.

2010-06-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

I miss New York mostly when I watch movies. Movies make New York so dreamy.
"The September Issue" makes New York part of the ever-so-unreachable "Paris-London-Rome" scene and being in NYC makes you part of that too. In reality, I often think that Santa Monica has more of the European vibe, that I tend to romanticize and crave. I walk to the boulangerie for fresh sour dough bread, I bike to the ocean, there's The Stinky Cheese Store two blocks down from us, people at the bank know me by name and we wear hats - pretty sun hats with wide brims. I love you, Santa Monica. And sometimes, I miss you, New York.
P.S. I love biographies! Style interests me only as a part of it.
I also loved A.W.'s consistency with jewelry. She had just a couple of (similar) necklaces, that she alternated and a little cross.

But most of all, I miss my friends - and that's why I miss New York.

2008-05-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

"A French bulldog plays with a 2-week-old baby Bengal tiger, which was rejected by its mother, at Shirotori zoo in Higashikagawa, southwestern Japan May 11, 2007. The dog is nursing the baby tiger as if it is its mother, according to the zoo." ((Yuriko Nakao/Reuters))

You probably know already how much I love French Bulldogs. They are so unconditionally loving and devoted. My Greta jumps to nurse every little creature around: baby, kitten, duck, butterfly...

2008-04-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

My camera is broken. My mood is low.
Both blog and flickr stay lifeless.
The Sun is out, yet only for a day.
I miss spring and warmth.
I'm also homesick.
Looking
forward
to
Pascha.

2008-03-15T09:19:00.001-07:00

I've just watched "In the Realms of the Unreal". I'm surprised it got the awards... in fact, I'd hardly call it either a movie or a documentary, but if you've never heard about Henry Darger, it might be interesting to see it as an introduction. And Inspiration.

I love free spirit of my orthodox faith

2007-08-02T08:49:00.000-07:00

A Russian Orthodox Bishop quoting Heavy Metal band playing "Rasputin"...

2007-07-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

Rimskiy-Korsakov:
humble and beautiful Bumblebee
or
a high-flown hive for you?
I liked both.
Next thing I expect is someone to do it on a type-writer.

Me in a movie still, or Down the Rabbit-Hole

2007-07-16T08:33:00.001-07:00

the warriors
Originally uploaded by ambery

I need projects. I want projects. I have them. I have started them.
It is as always - I'm trying to fill in the gaps. And as usual, there are too many, so they ansemble into a hole that I'm slowly flying through as Alice... at least, the pace is giving me enough time to notice jars on the shelves.
P.S. I want to see some worth-while movies of the past and present and would love your advice.

2007-07-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

The highlight of this week was Wednesday night dinner. The dinner with Vladyka Seraphim Sigrist - the living history himself. He's also hilarious, but one has to meet him to appreciate and catch the jokes. (He referred to the online people as "souls of the blog", I think). Fr. Michael, Amber and me.

2007-07-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

Life is full of interesting. For example, this morning I received an e-mail from my Priest about... about Bishop's livejournaling... ("Russian lady" is me).

One of my favourite saints

2007-06-20T21:11:00.001-07:00

Diogen of Sinope

HE IS NOT A SAINT?

"А из нашего окошка только улицы немножко"

2007-05-05T02:45:00.001-07:00

"А из нашего окошка только улицы немножко"
Originally uploaded by Veroniquette.

My poor old computer. It just won't let me to log into my blog. That's one of the reasons I don't do the promissed below.
Another reason is being all about the flicker for now.
Spring is beautiful. If fact, no adjective is enough to describe spring, it ought to be a synonimus for beauty itself. Huge flakes of snow that I tried to capture on this photo are absolutely invisible. I can't blame any of the devices for that... but my unability to operate them well.

2007-04-14T03:17:00.000-07:00

A.Osmerkin, "In a Cafe"

W. Kandinskij, "St.George"

A.Lentulov, St.Basil Cathedral

Recently, my dear friend (hi, Jules!) wrote to me:

"I had an idea for you and your blog. Why not just routinely blog your photographs and give a straightforward explanation of what they are. You don't have to be artsy, just describe what you were doing when you took the photo, what it is, and if you want to get deeper, what you were feeling or thinking at the time. That would be so interesting for people. Not everyone lives in such an interesting city as Moscow, and it would be a window for people stuck in places like the midwest (i.e., me). I think you should be more active on your blog, and this would be an easy way to do it, without even any artistic pressure."

Paradoxically, I cling to her blog as to a window... but a window into the spiritual world. And I never consider mine as anything, but a random and scarce desire to propagande something. The promted idea of using it as a kind of live journal sounds wondeful as well!

The above paintings I saw yesterday at the Tret'jakov Galery, The Modern Art branch. I find it almost impossible to select favourites by most of the artists of that time, and therefore posting just a couple of those that were at the exibit.

2007-04-14T03:14:00.001-07:00

Greta's new puppy
Originally uploaded by Veroniquette.

We bought for Greta a little wind-up rabbit, because we thought it looked quite like her. And she does treat him like it's her puppy. Very cute, but much heart-breaking too.

Clash of Styles

2007-04-02T07:25:00.001-07:00

Originally uploaded by Veroniquette.

News papers in Russia are never just thrown out. They are re-used.

It's been bothering me for several months now that my 4 year old studens have for place mats a very frivoulous and vulgar kind of news papers. It especially became vivid as a constrast to Paschal Eggs we decorated last Friday. Look closely at the pictures.

2007-03-04T05:57:00.001-08:00

Originally uploaded by Veroniquette.

I am probably the last person to find out that the phobia lists are hilarious.

Japanese Day

2007-02-28T05:44:00.001-08:00

Originally uploaded by Veroniquette.

Besides everything else, I am sick.

For the past three weeks I was so looking forward to the Japanese Day at school. And so it's today - but I am stuck at home.
I find the way to soothe my disappointment by copying the picture a Geisha from an old Japanese book.

And yet again, I try to derive lessons. About expectations, disappointments and ever existing ways to heal.

Desk

2007-02-21T10:23:00.000-08:00

"Стол должен быть - место незыблемое, чтобы со всем и от всего - к столу, вечно и верно - ждущему." (From Tsvetaeva's Notebooks)

I don't know if I can translate the above. "The desk ought to be - the place unshakable, so that with all and from all - to the desk, eternally and faithfully - awaiting." I can't tell if the translation conveys (especially in it's punctuation) twice as much meaning in each abruption or aspiration. .. Having the desk always worried her. And I can relate to this, oh, so much.

I like other people desks too!

Have a Blessed Great Lent!

2007-02-18T10:03:00.001-08:00

Originally uploaded by Veroniquette.

My dear friends, I want to ask your forgivness and wish you all to spend this Great Lent in peace!

2007-02-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

It must've been two years since I saw this wonderful movie
"Ballets Russes". I loved it and I am so excited today getting three more books about that era and its people.
Please, see some illustrations from the book about Diaghilev on my flikr site.

2007-02-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

One of my dearest friends never stops improving herself. This is from our yesterday online converstaion:

friend: yesterday, in the city, I was practising how TO BE A CREATURE LIKE NO OTHER
and I would just pretend I was you
because you're a creature like no other
me: Ha-ha-ha! :) Thank you!
So, what you've done?
she: Oh, I would walk around imperially
me: You have to write a blog entry on being a creature like no other!
she: and on the subway this man was reading a book
and I thought it was by Zizek
so I looked at it imperially
me: Hilarious! I'm crying with tears!
she: and asked him "is that by Zizek?”
me: laughing with tears I mean!
she: and he was so excited I talked to him that he went on and on
about philosophy and literature and his thesis and I got bored
me: young man? cute?
she: and at one point he was saying about his thesis topic (this autobiography) that is was dull and uninformative
and I didn’t
and I didn't udnerstand whether he was saying his thesis was boring or the book his thesis was about was boring
so I said...
"Your thesis is dull?"
and he laughed and said "What's your name?"
me: (right, because you pretended being me)
:)
she: yes
yes
I was acting like you
like a prom queen
or a princess
and he was getting boring
me: it's very funny
she: it was funny
and it worked quite well because I could tell he was totally smitten
me: Good job. Very cute!
her: although I wasn't interested in him anyway
he stood there looking after me
I'm going to pretend to be you more often

2007-02-04T03:26:00.000-08:00

Confession of the day:

I am addicted to flickr, blogger and web-pages of artsy people, and everything labeled "inspiration".

2007-02-03T04:10:00.000-08:00

My favorite fashion designers:

MADELEINE VIONNET

and

VIVIENNE WESTWOOD

2007-01-29T09:44:00.000-08:00

"The Ethics of Elfland"

2006-11-11T12:48:00.001-08:00

Эльф
Originally uploaded by Samowar_Ytekaevi4.

"Amber, who overuses psychoanalytic terminology, might say that Veronika is always having a "crisis," or that she is "traumatized," or that she has an "alter ego." J.W.

And it is so. In the middle of this I was blessed with a tiny discovery that made me very happy: G.K.Chesterton's "Orthodoxy" especially the chapter IV, of the same title as this entry. Here and there he freely uses we: "We in fairyland (who are the most reasonable of all creatures)..." or "In fairyland we avoid the word "law"; but in the land of science they are singularly fond of it." I cherish a thought that the elfland is broader than just my reality. "Nay, - says Chesteron, - the really sane man knows that he has a touch of the madman."

Vanity Fair

2006-11-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

"Humdrum life" of a teacher

2006-10-09T09:06:00.000-07:00

With the triumphant face of a discoverer Richito pulls me toward a group of children from my class, who are squating around holes and piles of dirt.

“UUUU! What have you found? Yummy! Let’s eat him!”

Bewildered children simultaneously stop digging in the ground and look at me with eyes wide open. Solveig – another teacher at school - pulls me aside:
- I’m being a hippy here! (That’s besides being a spiritual yoga insturctor). Do you understand, that it took me about 10 minutes to explain to your class the importance of the earth-worms: how they make the soil friable, so the trees grow better and how they do no harm to anyone… I told them that this is the worm’s house and we should be happy that the little creature let us play near its place: “You wouldn’t like it if some one came and destroyed your home, right?” Let all of us be nice, friendly and respectful towards each other. Then Richito runs to fetch you… And what do you say? “It’s a worm! Yeah, let’s eat him!”

------------------------

I’m walking hand in hand with Kolya. Yulia (the mother) and Marina follow us listening to my interrogation of the little boy about his school life, while he eagerly tells me about a special music school for boys, where he learns a capella polyphonic singning, russian folk songs, dancing, playing different instruments… When I doubt some sort of his ability to play drums, he reassures me that he’ll be able to do it, “’cause I’ve got five arms!” I work with children and therefore with a habitual concern I swiftly correct him:
- Kolen’ka, you can’t possibly have FIVE arms: what kind of monstrosity you’d be then! You can only have either four or six.

Solveig is pondering on life in Moscow:

2006-09-26T04:14:00.000-07:00

"New York is so much easier... (she sights and stares into her chocolate cola ) and the people there are so nice and friendly... I've been here for 3 months and I haven't met anyone - well, besides you, of course - laid back. " - Me?

I will try to have a new post before baby's arrival...

2006-09-09T23:26:00.000-07:00

Julia, I promise!

I couldn't dare...

2006-08-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

...to have you guessing again: that would become old and annoying.

This is a view out of my kitchen window. In Moscow.

Useless facts

2006-08-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

Today in the Roget’s Thesaurus with 258,000 words grouped by concept into 1073 categories (and 15 classes) I noticed in the index the word “veronica”. As some find googling themselves entertaining, so I think is to spot your name on a curious list.
Class: VALUES and IDEALS
Cotegory: SPELL, CHARM (preceded by SORCERY and followed by PIETY. Amber, wait to laugh this is not all yet.)
Here's the paragraph mentioning my name in that class and of that category: (nouns) charm, amulet, talisman, fetish, periapt, phylactery; voodoo, hoodoo, juju, obeah, mumbo jumbo; good-luck charm, good-luck piece, luck penny, rabbit's-foot, lucky bean, four-leaf clover, whammy (US informal); moscot; madstone; love charm, philtre; scarabee; veronica; swastika, fylfot, gammadion.

... and I love scarfs. (That's quiz 3)

2006-07-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

One of the most quoted verses by Russian poet Sergey Esenin as follows:

“Лицом к лицу, лица не увидать,
Большое видится на расстоянии…”

Rough translation would be:
“Face to face, though not to catch the sight of it,
Big things are better seen from afar…”

Do we always need these lessons?
(Jules, remember looking back at the life in NY after your move to South Bend? Kudos: Though, if I had to go all the way to Russia to read your complete blog and look at the pictures, it was worthy the trip.)

P.S. I have to entertain myself, so what's the connection between scarfs and my entry?

"I am b o o o r e d... I am lonely and bored"

2006-07-22T06:50:00.000-07:00

Quiz 2

2006-07-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

So... what do you think is going on here?

Also, check this out...

2006-07-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/veroniquette/

(P.S. Oops: on the left, rather means on the right...)

2006-07-21T00:50:00.000-07:00

With my aunt at the "Pekinskaya Utka" (Duck a la Pekin). Moscow i s the most expensive city in the World: the cost of miso soup is $8.

Russia inspires me to blog!

2006-07-20T03:58:00.000-07:00

The day I am finally at home: Moscow, Tuesday around 1 PM. Two hours
later, I join my parents for a visit to a local hospital. It's a
regular check-up for my father (he has kidney stones) and we come along just to keep him company. My mother and I are left in the hall on the first floor to wait, while he's a few floors higher waiting in endless lines to get his turn to see a doctor. I am tired, sleepy and jet-legged (or, whatever you call that condition): according to NY time I spent my evening on the plane, took a nap and woke up at 2 am. So, it feels as I was up all night long and now it's after 8 am. I can hardly keep my head straight (and the expression "Alexander technic" doesn't sparkle any helpful connotation). I see an empty sofa in the corner of the waiting room and happily speed up towards it. Without thinking I drop my body on it and painfully cry out to my mom: "Ouch! Careful!" Brown leather covers plain board, there's no caution or anything else to soften landing or to make your rest any pleasant. An hour later I can't fight the cloud of drowsiness: I put my head down on my mom's shoulder and habitually pull up my legs just a bit, so I curl my body in a "baby style".
- Well, well, well... what d'ya think you're doing? Where d'ya think you are? Does this look like a train station or something?" - I am trying to get awake and figure out where in fact I am: a mean annoyed face, grayish washed out uniform, a sluggish posture of an overseer and a look of a gendarme. "I am sorry!"- I say to him honestly feeling so. "Well, well, well… I am in Russia” – I think to myself just a minute later.

Let's start with a quiz!

2006-07-18T04:03:00.000-07:00

What do you think this is? Take your guess!

(Clue: this isn't in Africa, this is in Russia)

My Beloved Friends!

2006-07-12T03:37:00.000-07:00

I have made it safely to Russia.

Updates are to come!

an attempt of an explanation

2006-06-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

Nabokov says that people don't think in a language, but in images.

My thinking is not a beautiful painting of the Renaissance period, neither does it have perfect forms of Roman and Greek sculptures. It's a kaleidoscope of images from different periods unpredictably fallen into "the right spots" (according to me) to create a harmonious (and to my individual point of view) picture.

In other words, my "association row" is not quite a row.

The Last Sunday (not according to my will)

2006-05-14T13:12:00.000-07:00

This was my last Sunday as a Choir Director at Three Saints Church in Ansonia.
Unreal to me: I can't touch the time of 6 years that I've spent there. What and where is the evidence of those years? A lady came to me with a post card (the only non-choir-member who gave me a farewell card): "I'm really sorry... I can't express what you and your work meant to me!" Her voice was shaking and she started crying. I felt smitten and ashamed: I couldn't recall who that woman was. I rushed to the choir loft on the edge of letting my tears out.
I'm also inspired to leave this entry after reading Julia's blog about the Hippopotamus.
I've had in my life not what I've aimed and hunted for. Trully, I am not granted what I'm striving for. I am blessed way much more. My present is wonderful not due to my perfect planing or right timing. It's amazing d e s p i t e all the wrong choices and against the outer circumstances. Thankfully I exclaim: "Сие да буди, буди!" ("From everlasting to everalsting! Amen and Amen.")

2006-05-01T07:48:00.000-07:00

I have a few thoughts on my mind these days. But I am not to ponder on them at the moment.
What I want to note to myself right now is my recent discovery.
Amber, (to whom I so thankful for learing many things) just a short while ago, made me do personality tests. I mostly prefer to avoid psycho-digging, and at that point little of my thought got attached to the results.
Last week, while Julia was visiting the subject reoccurred (besides her strikingly foreseen present for me). Later on, back at home I went online and tried another questionnaire, to make certain that I do belong to that %1 of the population…
Thank you, my both dear friends! It wasn't an indulgent experience of reading about oneself, but a cognitive one. It helped me to understand what I am and why I do what I do. It comforted me endlessly in learning about myself.

2006-04-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

AN OWL is a member of any of about 200 species of solitary.
In Greek mythology the owl was associated with the Greek goddess Athena, a Bird goddess, who often assumed the form of an owl. Athena was also the goddess of Wisdom and The Arts.

2006-04-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

ELVES are described as the fairest and wisest of all creatures in Middle-earth. They are lovers of Art (particularly songs, which they sing in beautiful voices). The Noldor in particular possess skills and knowledge which to Men appear to be "magic." Their memories and dreams are as vivid as real life. Elves can "sleep" without physically sleeping by indulging in deep thought ("waking dreams"), even as they move about. Elves have far sharper senses and perceptions than men. Their most notable feature is their natural immortality, which makes them appear ageless to mortal eyes (though they did age, after their own fashion).
However, Elves can be slain, or die of grief and weariness.
Tolkien's Elves could be considered a representation of what human beings might have been, if they had passed the test in the Garden of Eden. Elven capabilities in Art, aesthetics, and pure science (ie, botany, not agriculture) exceed that of fallen humanity not just in degree, but in kind.
Elves were not "perfect", nor did they represent angels among Men, but despite their faults, they always rejected the evil of the mighty Vala Melkor whom they named Morgoth, "the Dark Enemy of the World" .
The immortal Elves sometimes wearied of being unchanging themselves in an ever-changing world. They longed for the Undying Lands of Valinor, and sometimes even envied Men's brief mortality.
Elves marry freely and for love early in life. Monogamy is practised and adultery is unthinkable; they only marry once. The Elves view the sexual act as extremely special and intimate, for it leads to the conception and birth of children. Extra-marital sex and premarital sex are unthinkable -- indeed, the Elves would regard them as contradictions in terms. Because adultery is also unheard of and fidelity between spouses is absolute, spouses can sometimes live separately for extended periods of time, and no one would get worried over it. Yet a sundering during pregnancy or during the early years of parenthood (caused by war, for example) is so grievous to the couple that they prefer to have children in peaceful times.
The Elves preoccupy themselves with various things, such as smithwork, sculpture, music and other arts. Males and females can do almost everything equally.
Eventually, if they do not die in battle or from some other cause, Elves grow weary of Middle-earth, and desire to go to Valinor, where the Valar originally sheltered their kind.
The lives of Elves technically only endure as the world endures; however, it is said that at the end of time the Elves will join the other Children of Ilúvatar in singing before His throne. (Source: wikipedia.com)

2006-04-27T05:53:00.000-07:00

My dear friend is visiting for a week-end.

- Oh, no! He likes Anais Nin, - she sighs, looking at her e-mail.
- ...yeah? Who is Anais Nin?
- Veronika, of course you know her! - categorically she throws and it makes me wonder even more. - You a r e the kind of person who reads such things.
She pulls up the bed-skirt:
- You probably have it under your bed and read a few pages nightly before going to sleep!
Suddenly, my friend's body is stretching up, she inclines her head slightly sideway and pensively squinting her eyes leans towards the invisible book... With an expression of complete abstraction she turns imaginary pages... In a voice of a philosophical pondering she pronounces: "Hmmmm... In-te-res-ting..."
I laugh!
"Happiness is when you are understood". - I quote to myself a famous line from a movie.

2006-04-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

It was 5th Sunday of Great Lent: St.Mary of Egypt. Nothing seemed to go right: deacon was away, sub priest didn't show-up, as it cleared-up there was n o sub-priest at all, because Fr.Tomato didn't diligently work out the communication with him... Liturgy had to be postponed by half-an-hour, when heroic Fr.T. showed up "to save the situation"... By the end of the service some altar-server was holding chalice (what a horrific mistake of the boors!)... And then... that altar-boy took the chalice by himself into the altar through a side door! My eyes filled with tears and spasm wouldn't let me to continue singing... I realized the complete humbleness of the situation: for our sins (neglect, ignorance, cupidity, vain, etc) till nowadays we make Christ to endure humility... There was more theological meaning in it for me than in complete Liturgy.

2006-04-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

There is no mirror. A real full-size, where I'd see myself. There is no mirror in the whole house. Oh, my roommate has one in her attic-bedroom and when she's away I try a couple of different outfits running upstairs to check how they look: naturally, for future references.

2006-04-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

It's Pascha. My three day theological blogging is over. Now I can contamplate on mundane subjects. Will see how I manage.

2006-04-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

"This is the Blessed Sabbath": "This is the day of rest, on which the only-begotten Son of God rested from all His works. He kept the Sabbath in the flesh, through the dispensation of death."

2006-04-22T09:35:00.000-07:00

"By Thy precious Blood, Thou hast redeemed us from the curse of the law." (from Troparion of Holy Friday). This year, as it happens ocasionally, my Birthday fell on Holy Friday. I am in awe with this present: God dies for me.